Thankful for Good Doctors, Friends and Family

I appreciate the scientific expertise of the doctors at the Jones Institute, but both Brian and I have noticed all the way along that they are lacking in bedside manner.

When I went in for the follow up ultrasound on July 15, my doctor was on vacation (which I knew ahead of time). The doctor who did the ultrasound was nice and, I'm sure, very competent. As I lay on that half-table while she searched for signs of life, I knew. It was sad news. She expressed appropriate sympathy as I struggled to manuver myself into an upright position, but I felt the information they gave me was incomplete.

"Stop taking the hormones and call us to make a follow up appointment when you stop bleeding."

That was it. No information about how long it could take to start bleeding. What was normal or not normal bleeding. How long the bleeding could take place. Nothing. Of course, I didn't think to ask these questions at the time, so when I called the next day, I got a series of voice mail boxes. No follow up calls. Nothing. I felt like I had fallen out of favor--bad for stats. (Of course, that's just my feeling. I am sure they really are concerned but they have a lot of other patients and there's not a lot they can do for me at the moment.)

So I called Dr. Hardy, my new Ob/Gyn. I had been scheduled for my first visit with him this Friday (the 7/6/09 initial office visit was with his nurse practitioner). I really called to cancel that appointment. I didn't know if he would want to get involved because I wasn't actually his patient yet. But when I was talking to the clerk, I explained the situation and said I was feeling vulnerable because I didn't know what to expect. She put me on hold for about two minutes and came back to the phone.

"You don't have to wait until tomorrow to come in. If you can come in today, we'll work you in."

Wow! What a difference. When I went into the office, the doctor performed a very thorough ultrasound to confirm the Jones Institute findings and to make sure that gestational sac was the only one there. He did confirm those things. Then, in a show of kindness that nearly made me cry, he offered his hand to help me into a sitting position before discussing my options.

Today we went in for the D & C. I decided to go that route because it seemed the least disruptive to the rest of my life. Mom later told me that from her medical point of view, it made the most sense because it was the best way to make sure everything came out.

My friend Vilia Walter went with me initially because Brian had his own outpatient medical procedure at the same time I was scheduled for the D & C. She was just the right person to be with me. Loving and willing to listen, but able to talk about other things too. And I knew she would be praying for me. Thanks Vilia. Robert--you have quite a girl there :).

Brian got to the surgery center about an hour before I had to go into the surgery suite, so he waited with me in the pre-op room, which was very comforting. I think I would have felt sorry for myself if he hadn't made it.

The procedure went well. Dr. Hardy found a fibroid cyst that may have contributed to the miscarriage. I'll have a follow up appointment with him in two weeks and will ask him at that time about how the fibroid may have affected the miscarriage and what, if any, treatments are available if we choose to move forward with the frozen embryos. I can then talk to Dr. Oehninger about those issues from a more informed position.

We have felt the prayers and support of our friends and family through this. As just a little "I am with you" thing from the Lord, just before I left for the surgery today, an attorney friend who is a wonderful believer happened to call me just because she was thinking about me. I hadn't talked with her in several months, so she didn't even know about the pregnancy. A few minutes into our conversation, I mentioned what was happening. She prayed a prayer for me that was just what I needed. Isn't God tender with us when we need it?

So many others, both friends and family, have let us know they love us and are praying for us. Though some may question the wisdom of sharing our process with people so early, this is exactly why we did it. We feel like we are being held in the very strong and safe arms of the Lord through all of you--His body here on earth. Thank you.

Both Brian and I feel at peace, knowing that we have placed this process in the Lord's hands from the beginning. We are continuing to look to Him to help us grow through whatever course this takes.

If you take no risk, you have no reward. But the reward is often not what you thought it would be at first--it is almost always different, better and deeper. I know that if we give ourselves over to the Lord and let Him take us through, we will come out looking a little more like Him in the end.